Chapter 3

Wow, it's been a while. I haven't really been in the mood to sit down and commit an hour to writing a new post, so I haven't. Right now I'm sitting at home home watching a movie with my parents. The movie? Love Happens. It's about a guy who writes a book about overcoming hardships, but in reality doesn't practice what he preaches. As I watch this movie, it makes me think about the way that I've been living my life. It sounds cliche, yes, but I think a lot of people don't practice what they preach. Including myself. In fact, I think I've been lying to myself for a while. Who wouldn't? When it's easier just to smile and say "I'm great!". Sooner or later, we all have to come clean with what's really on our minds. Either we face it ourselves first, or we're called out on it later by friends who care about us. I would choose the first option, although sometimes it means more when others bring attention to it. Sometimes we just need to take a break, sit down and really decide what we're committing ourselves to, and if we can accomplish this task.


Talking about committing to things, this makes me think about an upcoming mission trip I might be going on to Japan. We'll be facilitating an English-Japanese VBS and teaching English using the Bible. I'm thoroughly excited about this, and, as scared as I am about going to a different country where I don't know the language, I'm surprisingly ecstatic. I've always wanted to go overseas, but never had the chance. And now the opportunity has finally arose. Who knows, this might be the start of a lifetime of overseas mission work. Before I go, I'm required to take these training lessons online. The first part of every lesson is to watch a short presentation and answer questions about it. The second part requires answering, explaining and correcting English sentence or grammar mistakes to a pseudo-student from Japan using the Bible as the textbook. As I started the first lesson, I had no idea how to explain why you wouldn't use the letter 'a' when describing objects, but after I answered a couple of questions, the answers just kept coming. In addition to that, I was also able to explain concepts from the Bible that might be hard to comprehend from a person's standpoint who had never heard of God, Jesus Christ, or the Bible. It felt very satisfying, knowing I would be providing the same service for other Japanese people when I go on my trip. Let me just end with this: I think I was meant to be involved in foreign missions. That is all.

Chapter 2

So after writing almost an entire paragraph on why I like Korean music and tv, I decided it would be better if I just said I liked it and stop right there. Nobody enjoys my fantasies of my Korean shows, so I won't write them down here and bore whoever might be reading this.


This week has been successfully productive. I know I said in my last post that I'm proud of myself, but I really am. I am thankful for the determination and will that God has given me. I'm still in the transition period of being at school because I want to learn, not to earn good grades, but I think I'll reach my final destination soon. At this point in time I'm reminded of why I have so much time for school: because I'm single. This semester Encounter is focusing on passion, pursuit, and purity. The past few weeks we've been discussing what being single means, and why it's not a bad thing. It's been helpful for me, who's been struggling with a break-up. At first I was angry, sad, and hurt, but now I am content with just being me. And by me I mean God and I. I no longer have to worry about anybody else but myself, in a sense. Of course, I'll always have friends who I care about and want to be with, but the relationship with them and the relationship with God are completely different. So I've never been worried about God not being there for me. My real problem is giving up control. So far in my life, I don't think I've ever successfully surrendered control. I'm a control freak and am full of pride, so someone telling me to give all of my troubles to Him and not worry about anything sounds crazy. Most of the time, I don't think I consciously keep God out of my bubble. Giving up control is something I hope I will be able to achieve by the end of this semester. I know it's not an easy thing to do, but I know that if I stay committed to this, it'll happen.


And I fully plan on being committed. That's another thing I'm working on this semester. I didn't realize until now the importance of setting a goal for yourself, and I'm taking full advantage of it now. I found that setting goals for myself give me the determination and focus I need to carry out those goals. It's almost like a light bulb went off in my brain saying, "Well duh, why didn't I think of that sooner?" This new found light (or God) has given me feelings of admiration, happiness, and a strength that I didn't know existed. I feel like I've just started in a relationship. Not a physical one, but a spiritual one, with the Big Man Upstairs. Now that I think about it, I guess I'm not single after all, and never will be again if I can help it. Who would want to give up this feeling of awe, love, joy, and fulfillment? Not me!